Can you write a funny paragraph that includes these phrases?

I was just sittin around daydreamin when my husband came in and said "I can't believe that Emmit won!" I said oh is he still playin with the Cowboys? "Snap out of it!", Daniel said It's Dancin with The Stars, god are you livin in a dream, woman? I closed my eyes, afraid to tell him what was really goin on in my mind. Why couldn't I think of the words to say? Why was it so hard? Anything else I could handle. If someone asked me about hiding a lover from your husband, "man, I wish there was a Jeopardy category like that, I'd clean UP!" But, no, I was gonna have to answer the most difficult question: "Why is that tractor in my backyard?" and where is the man that rode it here? I'd have to say "well...it's a big secret", but not anymore! All of this is gonna hurt him, and Billy Bob out there hidin scared that my husband will kill him when he finds out. What an affair! "Isn't it romantic?", I used to think. Boy, was I wrong!